Walmart chestnut - m4w (Elyria)

ORIGINAL POST 4/14/2017

I saw you in the check out line yesterday evening, weds. 4-12. You have long blown out brown hair that looks great! You were wearing shorts, have a slim build and were wearing what appeared to be a knee brace. I saw you shopping there about a month ago and we smile at each other. Anyway, tell me what I said you to you last nite in the check out line before I walked off. Hope you see this posting and reply back. I'd like to talk. :)

INITIAL EMAIL

Hi there,

On a whim, I was searching through missed connections tonight and I can't believe I came across this post about me! I'm so flattered that you found me attractive, I think you are very cute as well. I'm so glad it is short weather again, although I'd wear them building an igloo. Just like those coolers you take to the beach or the lake or maybe even to a tail gathering. I really like Wal-Mart, but I miss the days of the bouncing smiley that goes "rolling, rolling, rolling, keep those doggies rolling, rolling, rolling roliing, RAWHIDE!" It made me feel like their prices were lower, you know what I'm talking about?

Funny story about the knee brace. I like self check outs. Bagging. Scanning. Taking the receipt. Its like a long seductive dance. If it was a bird, it would be a BIG red BREASTED robin.Like with the mating and sounds and such. Do you like self check outs as much as me?

Tell me more about yourself, I'd love to get to know you better. I'm a school teacher, but my real passion is stuffing things. I like the sense of accomplishment it gives me. So be ready to eat some pigs in a blanket and RAVIOLI'S. Do you want to hear a funny joke I made up a few years ago? What do you call the pasta that is on its period? RAG-atoni!!!! Get it! HAHAHAHA! Speaking of pasta, I met the real Chef Boyardee once, it was like the only famous person I've ever met, so I mention it a lot. I hope I don't sound crazy. Saucy, HEY-HO! Have you met anyone famous?

I have to get going. I hope to hear back from you.
Have a terrific weekend.

Hugs,
Jordan

FIRST RESPONSE

Hi Jordan, I really thought I'd never hear from you. This whole thing was such a long shot. :) believe it or not, I got two different emails from people claiming to be the woman I saw and said those things to. I hope you're her. I'd really like to get to know you if you're really her. It's like a coincidence or something because the last time before the other day had been a month ago that I had been in that store and saw you. I think there was a definite connection judging the smiles we exchanged. Anyway, let's talk. Is there anything you can tell me about yourself, like what color shorts you were wearing or something to prove it was you the other nite? I just don't wanta get into conversations with someone other than that gorgeous girl I keep seeing! :) if I don't hear back, have a great holiday weekend. Ttyl you're so cute.

I remind you of your dad - m4w (Ziggys Pataskala)

ORIGINAL POST (4/7/2017)

I remind you of your dad - m4w (Ziggys Pataskala) hide this posting
body: average
height: 5'9" (175cm)
status: married
Beer: Dead Guy
I can tell you think I'm attractive, because your eyes give you away. When I'm at the bar with another woman, your gaze contains a hint of jealousy. Watching you walk towards me is something I look FW to only on weekdays.

INITIAL EMAIL

Hello,

    On a whim, and in my usual bout with insomnia I was searching through the missed connections section and came across this post about me! I have to say, you are right about the jealousy, I hate not having you solely for myself. I don't know if you remind me of my dad however, because he always smelled like the others. How have you been? I've had a rough couple of months. First, I lost my favorite big old' flower headband. Like the ones Chelsea wore in that show. Second, my boyfriend broke up with me to pursue his career in stone rubbing. I like to rub me a good stone but thats easier said then done. Lastly, I had to move in with Tom, who is a known arsonist and it makes me worrry a lot about fires and fires. I think the burning part is the scarriest...

    Recently, I've taken up dolls and folding. I've also been attending several concerts. My friend Ana, advised me to start a forge. So far, three apples and a crazy celery. What makes it crazy you ask? Why, the stalk of course, its swirly. Do you like forgin? What have you been up to lately?

    I've also been obsessed with toast. You know how sometimes you see Jesus? That's the thing Imma talking about. Sometimes I see Muppets in the toast as well. Ha ha, can you imagine a elmo jesus? Cause I can. Tickle this. LOL!!

I can't wait to hear back from you.

Hugs and kisses

FIRST RESPONSE

I should start by saying that LB needs some help...everyone knows that, except her, and maybe her husband. Yeah, I've head the stories from Swain & Company. He talks too much, like his friend with that one cousin...they always did. It's a long term issue. Everyone also knows that most of what she writes to her sister in law are blatant lies...at least those who know about the writings. Not everyone does. There is a brilliance that could be tapped, if we just manage the other stuff. Yeah, I said "we".

It's not the smell of me that reminds you of your dad, it's the way I look at you with an implied smile, and the hint that there is something I'm not telling you. It's the dark eyes, the easy going nature and the underlying vein of steel.

Can you get a message to Dan for me? Tell him to stay out of my backyard please. idgaf if he has reservations or not.

Habitat Restore - Beautiful, Classy, Smiling Blonde - m4w (Columbus, OH)

ORIGINAL POST (4/6/2017)

Hello,

My West Virginia hillbilly self was in town on Monday June 13, 2016 searching the Habitat Restores for materials to remodel mine and my daughter's house and between having a bad day and apparently leaving my stones in my other purse at home I think I may have missed a few things right in front of my own 2 eyes at the Westerville locale. We both bought the same crappy hotel painting with a nice frame for $5. Was just wondering if you'd gotten yours hung yet? :) Posting this faithfully for the next year in hopes to hear.

INITIAL EMAIL

Hello,

In my bout with insomina tonight, I was looking through the missed connections and can't believe I came across this post about me! It was so long ago. I actually ended up throwing the painting out and using the frame for a original of Tom with the Alley Cat 266 of 500 limited edition painting by the famous artist Planko Los Longos. Where did you end up hanging yours? Since then, I've been spending a lot of time learning how to catch. I've been really hard at work. I got a new job as a representative for a hubbolo company. Its great. I like the hours and vending snacks. 50 cents for funyons!!! I say bring it on the late nights in my mouth ;).Wendys ain't got nothing on funyons.

What have you been up to my sweets? I am sooooooo glad to hear from you. A little about myself, I enjoy shopping for bananas, playing the piano, hunting, a match of tennis with the girls, being with plants, looking into things, waiting for it to hatch and spending time with loved ones. What do you like to do for funyons? ha ha, lol..... see what I dids there? I am a funny. Would you be interested in having dinner and sometime with me? I'd really enjoy that. I sometimes think that movies are fake. What do you think? Like Star Wars, I think it would have been heavily publisized. Like space, you know? I really cant believe you left this torch lit for me, I cannot wait to hear back from you my frame man.

Anticipattingly,
Jordan

Blonde at Fritzy's Fri 11am - m4w (Shrock & Karl)

ORIGINAL POST (4/6/2017)

This is a long shot but I woke up with the image of your face in my mind. Your piercing blue eyes , the way you looked at me and kept looking lit the fires of my passion deep within the soul. 

You were with your mom, she's beautiful too, and I think your friend maybe your sister. Three beautiful dirty-blonde haired ladies at the same booth caddy corner from my friend and I. I should have gone over to your table or gone after you as you left. You were sitting on the inside of the booth. 

I hope you see this. So that I may lay eyes on you again or perhaps hear your voice and try to make it so you laugh at my jokes. You got quiet when you were looking at me and even layed your head on your hand elbow propped up on the table and gazed over at me. I'd love to talk to you. 

If this is you, tell me what you were thinking so hard about the cat got your tongue; the cat certainly had mine. I'll tell you, it was like everyone in the place could feel you putting out the signal to me, but I couldn't pick it up. My heart skipped so many beats when I saw you my brain turned to mush. Please don't message me if you can't control yourself from jumping in the sack around me. Because I'm so tired of that. I'm looking for a stronger connection than pure sex, to get to know somebody and be friends first and be able to talk and communicate foremost so that we can be friends and lovers.

INITIAL EMAIL

Hello, 

Out of the blue, I decided to look at the missed connections tonight and I can't believe I can across this post about me! I love Fritzy's, their manhole pancakes are delish! I remember that morning well, my mother and sister and I were getting breakfast on our way to the barber shop for a hip new look. I loved the way you looked at me, it felt like the whole room. Honestly, I have been having some difficulties with men lately, so forgive me if I come across as cautious. I recently stopped dating my boyfriend because he couldn't get over my purple hat collection! Not that I am a lady of the eggplant or anything. Anyways, now I'm ready to move on to something more serious. Oh, the reason that the cat stode away with my flapper gapper was due to the fact that I was too busy thinking about what would happen if Fritzys' closed for business, where would I go for breakfast. Denny's? Moon over my hammy my ass, I'd take a big ole' whopping manhole anyday! Am I right?! Fuck Denny's!! Am I right?

A little about myself, I studied palentology at college and lo and behold all the dinosaur are dead. Can you believe that? So, 60 grand down the tubs. Now I intern at the local baber shop. I recommend to my customers the Christopher Walkin cut. Zoom, zoom. Ha, Ha! What do you do for a living?' In my spare time, my hobbies are; hanging out with friends, cycling, owls, pee-wee's playhouse, sport, sorting things from highest to highest, jousting, waiting for my crossword to come in, going to concerts and looking at things that frequent the lake.  I also like supporting charity, I'm a big mother and also I support St. Jude through the monetary means if you know what I mean. Do you participate in any charitably organizations? Like St. Judes? Judes. 

I hope to hear back from you, I can't shake the image of your beautiful face.

Hugs and kisses,

Jordan

Busty Walmart shopper - m4w (Columbus)

ORIGINAL POST (4/3/2017)

Busty Walmart shopper - m4w (Columbus) hide this posting
status: single
age: 40
You probably won't see this, but I saw you in Walmart the other day and I followed you around for a bit, but couldn't get up the nerve to say something. You were sexy and busty . Would love to see if you'd like to chat sometime, I have some questions for you, hopefully you'll be interested in talking in the very least.

INITIAL EMAIL

Hi There,

On a whim, I was checking missed connections this morning and I can't believe I came across this post about me! I remember you, you're a really attractive man. I would love to talk to you sometime.

A little about myself, I tend to ponder the unknowns of the world often. I spend sleepless nights trying to find answers to what we are unsure of. For example, did the word salmon originate in Jamaica? sal-MON. Yeah, mon. I think it must have because the word "mon" isn't very common. Except for the word Monkey of course.... Hey! Try this one on for size. What if you had Reese's pieces and dropped them on the floor? Would they now be Reeses' pieces pieces?!? I know these might seem trivial but they honestly haunt my thoughts.

I don't think I'm schizophrenic, but sometimes I hear "Find The Treasure" in my head. Those words might fill some with excitement but it just fills me with the overwhelming fear of responsibility. I guess I sound a little crazy. Crazy.

In my day to day life, I am a writer. I write children's books. Some of my more popular titles are "Wheelchair Frog" and "When Cats Wear Hats While We're On Vacation", have you heard of them? What do you do for a living? I'm easy going and love life to the fullest. I've never married or had any daughters or sons but sometimes I think I did. I love to travel and try new foods. Some of my hobbies include; going to sporting events, weighing things, going to the bar with my friends, trying on skirts, baseball, hacking and of course community theater! We once put on a production of My Fair Lady, but we changed it just be about a woman who spent the day at a fair. It was met with mixed critizicisms. What do you like to do for fun? I'd love to get to know more about you and go from there!

Hope to hear from you soon,
Jordan

FIRST RESPONSE

Hi there, are you for real or just messing with me?  Can you please describe yourself or send a picture?